Happy 420 I gotta get back to this shit before my notifications go to hell

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 04/20/2020 at 23:07 • Filed to: None

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Hello from my couch oppo! I am watching !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , who through some miracle have the ideal movie precisely for me in this moment! A shitty low rent old Hollywood no-shit Roger Corman 1980 Star Wars knockoff that is so ripe with subtext.

I can’t even with this movie I am full giggity only 14 minutes in and that’s including the credits. But here is just one small piece of crazy, out of innumerable ones!

Chad, the Luke knockoff character’s ship’s computer has the voice of a sassy 58 year old lady from Brooklyn who smokes 2 packs a day. Sample line: “I’m showing my backside to those mutant sons of bitches” and oh by the way the ship is a fallopian tube.

Anyway I said a political thing about covid as the first comment on an fp article and it’s past the edit window so the Rubicon has been crossed, nice knowing you oppo, I’ll stay logged in and hopefully my notifications will chill in a week (pleasethankyou flying spaghetti monster )

UPDATE: hooah!

UPDATE 2 I GOTTA STOP UPDATING ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Textured Soy Protein 04/20/2020 at 23:33

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There is no way you can convince me that Battle Beyond The Stars is nothing less than the work of genius...

feather-throttle-not-hair > Textured Soy Protein 04/20/2020 at 23:33

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Sweet Ferrari bro.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Textured Soy Protein 04/20/2020 at 23:35

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 I don't know what that first picture supposed to be but it looks alarmingly like a ball sack.

Textured Soy Protein > feather-throttle-not-hair 04/20/2020 at 23:37

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All the stars because yes this is the Ferrari fallopian tube and I thought so immediately at the time.

Textured Soy Protein > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 04/20/2020 at 23:38

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I would never try to convince you otherwise. 

Textured Soy Protein > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 04/20/2020 at 23:40

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I already told you in  the post bruh it’s a fallopian tube I seen it from every angle trust me 

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Textured Soy Protein 04/20/2020 at 23:48

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I’m gonna need to smoke more for that one.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Textured Soy Protein 04/20/2020 at 23:56

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The wheel alignment thrust angle?

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2020 at 00:11

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Now I’m going to have to watch this...

Chariotoflove > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2020 at 00:31

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A shitty low rent old Hollywood no-shit Roger Corman 1980 Star Wars knockoff...

Except really, it was a shitty low rent Magnificent Seven knockoff. Robert Vaughn even reprised his role from the 1960 film. And I loved it.

Textured Soy Protein > Chariotoflove 04/21/2020 at 00:56

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You’re right, it’s both! Magnificent 7 in space by Roger Corman with just enough cash to hire many name actors and give them sets and wardrobe lol

zipfuel > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2020 at 08:52

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Next try Solar Babies/Warriors I saw it as a kid before I had any critical awareness so I thought it was just another awkward and rollerbladey 80s movie. I didn’t learn until recently it was a famous box office bomb that was supposed to be Mel Brooks’ Star Wars but instead nearly bankrupted him.

Chariotoflove > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2020 at 10:59

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I just remember as a kid  thinking, “John-Boy in space!”